


Our special place

by bonjourmags



Category: Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare, Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe, Angst, Cultural References, Cute, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Games, Growing Up, Growing Up Together, Humor, M/M, Underage Drinking, park
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-25
Updated: 2016-06-25
Packaged: 2018-07-18 01:27:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 18,636
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7293892
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bonjourmags/pseuds/bonjourmags
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Everyone has a special place." Said Magnus' mom, "You go there when you're not at your best, or when you feel great. It's your place, you can go whenever you want and you do what you want there."</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>Alexander Lightwood's special place seems to be a swing in the middle of a kid's park. Magnus Bane happens to live somewhere who as a wonderful view on that said park.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Our special place

**Author's Note:**

> This is what I do when I'm in exam period and need to get that stress out of me. Also, this was supposed to be a 5k fanfic, but no, my hands decided to make it a 18k.
> 
> My beta did not read this, so yeah. Sorry. 
> 
> Have fun!

Magnus Bane was only seven when he felt for the first time attacked by an homophobe. Since his mother was always lovely with him being more feminine than most boys and him being himself in general, he was used to live in a warm bubble of love and acceptance. The first time it happened, he felt his bubble crack slowly but surely, like a mirror falling to the ground after a crisis. His reflect was still the same but the surface to see was smaller, his heart was still the same but it's entrance was now closed.

 

It was just in front of his own house: he lived in a calm neighborhood and across the street there was a park where kids could play and parents meet to talk to each other while their dogs ran everywhere. He was holding his mother's hand even thought people started to tell him he was a big boy and he should stop being so clingy and start emancipate from her. He never wanted to fly from his own wings or walk alone without her calming presence close to him. She let him be whoever he wanted to be without asking him question and he didn't wanted to let that go. He was tugging at the pink shirt he was wearing with his free hand, biting his tiny lips.

 

A small girl who looked younger than three dropped her plastic toy to the ground as she walked past Magnus and his mom. The kind soul took it with both of his hands so it wouldn't fall again and brushed it with his tee-shirt. He followed the little girl who had long black hair looking as dark and deep as a cup of strong coffee. She was now sitting on the lap of a very tall woman, way taller than any other women he had seen in his ridiculously small life. He found her beautiful with her cherry pursed lips, large eyebrows an her hair closed in a dark bun above her head. Sitting next to her, a young boy with giant blue eyes.

 

Blue-eyed kid was looking very intensely at his mother, not even seeing Magnus in front of them. "Mother," Little Magnus felt weird when he heard such a young child calling their mom in a severe way. "I'd like to play on the swing." She hushed him with her large hand on his back, still holding the other girl with her arm. "No, Alexander. It is for babies, you're too old for playing. We should head home now, you have piano in less than a hour." Magnus felt the rejection as he was the blue-eyed boy himself. His child's mind couldn't understand how a mom could act that way, so strict, so demanding, so mean.

 

"You lost this." Spoke up Magnus with all of the confidence he could overtake. Eyes turned to him, two pair of green and one of blue. The young girl couldn't held herself in place now that she saw her toy in someone else's hands, wanting to get it back quickly. Her mom only gazed Magnus as she let out a small "Oh." She gave him her free hand and he placed with precision the plastic object. Without a thanks, she started to walk away once her girl's feet were standing right on the ground. Blue-eyes looked at Magnus with insistence before speaking. "Pink. That's a girl's color." Magnus couldn't answer because he didn't know that it was only reserved to girls, his mom never told him that. Instead, the young boy with dark hair and light skin opened his mouth. "That's wrong. You're wrong."

 

Magnus would never forget how his eyes looked at this right moment. They were too severe for such a young body, they were so mean. The boy wanted to be mean, wanted to be understood and wanted to hurt. That's how it felt for Magnus. He had no idea why a five year old boy was acting that way AND talking in a wicked way to him. He wanted to cry, mostly because he was a seven year old boy who couldn't hide his feelings, then secondly because it hurt him like electricity racing in his veins. It woke him up from his small dream, his so perfect pink cloud he shared with his mom, his paradise. He ran to his mom as quickly as he could and hugged her. She took him back to their house and tugged him to sleep before asking him what was wrong.

 

"I think I'm different mommy. A boy at the playground told me I was wrong." She caressed his hair. "My angel, you are different. I understood that a long time ago, way before you came to this planet. That's why you're called Magnus, you know that? One day I will tell you what it means. For now, you just have to take it in. I know it's hard, but mean people like this boy will come and leave in your life. You're stronger than them. And if you're not, just go to your special place." He looked at her and she was a goddess, calming him only with her gentle words and touch. "My special place?" he asked, in a small voice. She nodded before explaining. "Everyone has a special place. You go there when you're not at your best, or when you feel great. It's your place, you can go whenever you want and you do what you want there."

 

Magnus took his mom's finger in his hands, pulling it lightly. "Do you have a special place?" She smiled at him kissing his forehead gently. "The kitchen in your grandma's house. That's my place." Magnus mouth made a small "o" as he listened to her. "And me, will I have a special place?" She brushed his hair again and left. Before closing the door, she added: "Of course honey."

 

And suddenly, Magnus couldn't hate the blue-eyes boy anymore.

 

***

 

Magnus learned with time that being feminine wasn't bad. It was different, sure, but it made him special and was a big part of him. It made him him. People used to call him gay over and over and most of the time it felt wrong. Everyone typically thought he was homosexual, even his mom, who asked him when he would bring a boyfriend home.

 

As weird as it sounds, Magnus is probably the only person in the world who had to come out of the closed because he liked someone from the opposite sex. One day he had enough of being only half-recognized. He was as gay as he was heterosexual, which meant he wasn't. He liked both genders, male and female, not only one. His mom laughed a lot, excusing herself from the errors she did when they talked before. Some of his friends did too while others said that in a way, he was still gay. He cringed at those remarks but said nothing because even if he loved drama, it was way better when he wasn't in it.

 

It was a hot evening in the middle of September when he heard delicious laughs coming from outside. When it was so warm in the summer, Magnus would always open his window late to let a bit of fresh air coming inside. The sun wasn't completely hidden and still showed a bit of skin, giving a nice tint of orange to the sky. He walked up slowly to his window, looking around to see where the sound came from. He was living in a house in the middle of a very lovely neighborhood and he had a wonderful view from the second stage his room was. Once he was old enough, his mom gave him the best room with the window who showed the kids' park.

 

There were two persons in the park. Magnus wondered if it wasn't too late to be legally able to enter the public place but last time he checked it was still earlier than eight, which meant it was still open. They were both very tall with ink black hair, one was a girl, the other a boy. Magnus couldn't tell with precision how they looked because he was far away and his window was set high. He knew that they were fairly good looking from the light skin he could see, a nice contrast with their hair.

He heard their voices, talking loudly and laughing. Both of their tones were remarkable, him with a low voice and her with a crystal tone. "How come you never been on a swing? You're twelve, Alec, and if we follow the rules written on the board over there, that's the limit to use it." Said the girl while she pushed the boy on the swing. "Yeah, like you follow the rules, Izzy. And no, Mother always told me it was for kids. 'Never tried it."

"Well, now you're sitting on a swing, play!"

Magnus could feel how uneasy the boy felt even if they were far away. He could feel it like someone threw ice all over his back. A silence took place between the boy and the girl, who seemed to be brother and sister. Magnus knew he wasn't invited in the conversation and in the story he was just the creepy fourteen year old who watched people from afar. That was something you could call stalking but Magnus was way to bored to stop giving attention to what was happening in the park. "I can't, I have no idea of how it works," said the boy, breaking the awkward silence. His sister laughed immediately in a gentle way.

"Mother is way too hard on you. She's not letting you do anything. All you have to do is push your weight to the front when and let do the same with your legs, then go back and same thing, weight to the back and legs too. Ugh, this is so hard to explain. Watch me." She jumped on the other swing right beside her brother and started doing it. The boy tried to copy her but it didn't work out so well. She looked at him with big eyes, probably surprised that a twelve year old boy couldn't use a swing and laughed at him. She left her swing and walked to be behind her brother swing, pushing him lightly. She seemed to be lost in her thoughts as he tried hard to play.

"I can't believe Mother... She's so hard on you. She's not letting you do anything! With me she's not so so better but at least she lets me do what I want." The boy shrugged as he seemed to enjoy the swing. His smile was now big and his messy hair was getting messier thanks to the wind.

Magnus stopped looking at them when he heard his phone bleep. He closed his window and forgot about the two semi-gods.

***

"Do you even know what your name means, Magnus?" Asked Simon, a boy who talked to much for Magnus' taste but since he had a fairly good film culture and was Raphael's boyfriend, he didn't mind hanging out with him. Magnus took a bite of his sandwich and finished it before answering. "As weird as it may sound, I don't. My mom told me it was some important stuff but I never asked her what it meant. Maybe one day, if I feel it's time for me to know, as if this is some heavy destiny-thingy, I'll look it up on Internet." The conversation ended on this and Magnus' mind wandered somewhere else.

***

Magnus learned as he grew up that he liked spying on people. It wasn't in a stalker way, he never followed anyone or harassed another but he liked looking at people. He enjoyed the way their face changed with emotions, how the body of some worked when they walked, how red the skin can become when they ran. All of this sudden attention to others came with the fact that he stared too much at his window, the one who had a magnificent view on the park. He started listing people in his mind - habituals, not habituals. All of them were important to his eyes: the girl dressed in pink with blond hair who ran in the park every morning, the couple who came just before seven and left twenty minutes after because they had to eat, the babysitter with a different kid each day of the week, the couple who hid behind the trees to kiss. All of them came everyday.

Then there was the mysterious boy who sat on a swing.

He wasn't there everyday, not even every week. He weirdly only came in November, December, May and June. It made no sense to Magnus, but that didn't matter. He was his favorite, the one he liked the most: maybe because he always came there alone. Magnus remembered the first time he saw him, in the same park, one year earlier, when his sister told him how to play the swing. Since then, Magnus never saw that girl again and each time the black haired boy sat there, he was all alone.

He looked lonely, sometimes, but not always. He showed Magnus different emotions. Once happy, sad, angry.

Something was going on with that swing. Magnus understood that it was the boy's special place and almost felt like a horrible person for living just above it and sometimes spying on him, but there was a thing quite magical around the boy, a mysterious aura sticking on his skin smelling as much as cologne. Magnus found it refreshing to see this face sometimes and sometimes not. It was like playing a hazard game, wondering if the next step you'll do will give you victory or fail you completely. Magnus enjoyed seeing the boy, feeling like he was his little secret - it was his equivalent of the cute girl you see every morning in the bus, but you never talk to.

Except that one day, Magnus talked to him.

After taking all of the courage he could take with him, he left his house and walked to meet the boy in the park. The first reaction that the black haired guy had was to look frightened and out of place. It was the end of the afternoon, almost closing time, the boy probably was here because at that hour nobody came. Having suddenly an asiatic guy, two years older than him, coming and taking a bit of his personal special place - it made him uncomfortable.

He started to slow down his course on the swing, visibly showing that he was about to leave when Magnus stopped him. "You don't have to go just because I'm here." He said, trying to play his cards the best he could: Magnus knew the guy and wasn't scared of him but it wasn't the case the other way. The boy seemed to think and stayed anyways, probably because leaving after what Magnus said would have been very rude. Once he was closer, he could finally put a face on the body he saw so much in the past year and a half. What made him lock his stare on the boy were his eyes who held a deep blue, like a Klein painting that you want to drink forever. It wasn't all, his eyes were beautiful because of the emotions he held in them like a dangerous sea full of deadly animals, attacking the boats with frantic movement. But all of that was inside his eyes, inside the glass, and outside he seemed perfectly normal.

Magnus sat down on the swing just beside the boy and they quietly played. They were both very uncomfortable from different reasons and the tension between them was almost unbearable. The silence was cutting the inside of their brains like blades, a fire inside of their mouths trying to push them to talk to stop this feeling of shattering distance. They did talk, they found something to say that didn't sounded weird for acquaintances, and they expressed themselves at the same moment, covering the each other's voice with their own.

"You never come here," said the boy as Magnus told him "You're always here," and they both wanted to slap themselves because none of them heard what the other said. "Excuse me, go ahead. What did you say?" Asked Magnus. The other boy was relieved. "I said that you never come here, I never saw you. How come?" Magnus smiled to that and to the innocent tone of the guy. There was a tint of a rayed disc in his voice, reminding that even if his eyes held centuries of feelings, he had the body of a fourteen year old.

"I'm here, actually. I just don't especially go down. See that house over there? That's mine. I see people play in this park all the time and today I figured, why not go and play myself." The other boy smiled quietly. "Sometimes, when I'm looking at my window, I see you here. You're always alone. Sorry to ask, but why does a boy of your age play here so often and without friends as company?"

The boy bit his lip, pondering if he should talk or stay ghost quiet. "Alone is my home," he started, trying to find the right words to say enough without giving away the personal. "And this place feels safe," he added slowly, "studies say that moving back and forward help to make you feel at ease. I'm searching that." He opened his mouth again and Magnus saw a young boy in a weak situation of stress, "I'm sorry. It's not easy to talk to someone I don't know, even more if it's that personal. Don't take it bad, but yeah- there's that." Said the boy and Magnus pressed his lips.

"I'm Magnus. Bane. That's my name. When I was six my mom bought a cat and I think it died few times because of cars but she always replaced it. I named it Chairman meow, we're probably at Chairman meow the six, now. I took history of art in school and philosophy. And Spanish but only because my best friend could help me pass the tests easily. I want to be a painter. Oh, I'm sixteen too. Now you know me."

The boy laughed. "You've got to be kidding me. When I said not knowing you - I meant in another way." Magnus smirked but before he could answer, the blue eyed boy talked again. "Great destruction." The words flew across his tongue like a whisper. "Excuse me?" Asked Magnus, wondering what could it be about. The other boy shook his head, falling off of his thoughts. "Magnus Bane. Great destruction. Magnus, is well, great in Latin and Bane means destruction. You didn't know that?" Magnus' jaw dropped. He wanted to keep the signification of his name for a special day, an occasion like when he would turn 25 or if he has a big breakdown and surely did not want to know it before he chooses the right moment, and the mysterious boy on the swing just failed that for him. "No I... No I didn't. How do you know that?"

"Latin is the only option my mother let me choose." There was anxiety in his voice and Magnus couldn't help but feel small in front of a boy who was younger than him but way older in so many ways. There are people who are broken and you couldn't tell even if you know them well but the boy what sat on a swing wasn't one of them. Maybe his brain was not mature enough to hide well his feelings and he was still trying to create a mask. Suddenly there is a giant wall built up between him and Magnus, separating them in so many ways.

"Latin is nice." Said the boy with a smile and Magnus couldn't hate him for telling him his name's signification. Of course it made him slightly annoyed because he ruined a special moment for him but he just couldn't be mad at the boy. "Oh, by the way, my name is Alec." Magnus raised an eyebrow and Alec's smile dropped around the edges before he added: "Alexander Lighwood."

 

"Alexander the Magnus, then?" Said the asiatic boy and Alec bursted out in a laughter. "Don't tell me you really said that. It's the weakest joke ever." Magnus smiled, happy of relieving for few seconds the uncomfortable aura that stood between them and liked how easy they were with each other, wondering if they wanted to start a friendship. "Hell yeah I did, it's not everyday that I meet someone called Alexander, less someone who took Latin, and if I'm honest I'm obsessed with Alexander the Great." Alec's course on the swing slowed down a bit. "How come someone can be obsessed with Alexander the Great?"

 

"Don't you think he's interesting? He was young, too young even, only sixteen when he took the crown. He conquered so many things, made one of the biggest empires ever. Do you even realize that at that time world was so small, every time Alexander took a new country, it was as if he created it, made the world largest? Do yo-" Magnus stopped talking as he looked at Alec on the other swing, staring at him with sky eyes, absorbing his words and slightly, very slightly, making fun of him. "Continue, I enjoy listening way more than talking." Said Alec when he remarked that Magnus stopped. The asiatic started again, but the moment when Alec had to leave happened too quickly.

 

***

Magnus saw Alexander Lightwood more after that. Maybe that was because he looked for him more, almost trying to spy on him. Whenever the boy who sat on a swing showed up, Magnus felt attracted to the park, wanting to talk to him again and again, solving the puzzle of this mysterious boy. He wanted to understand why his body told that he was young and why his eyes told that he was old. He wanted to destroy that enigma that was Alexander Lightwood, piece by piece. Surprisingly enough, Magnus Bane chickened out. He was afraid of something - probably rejection. For a complete month, or even maybe two, Magnus saw him very often and never showed up. Maybe Alec came especially to see Magnus but it was only a slight hope.

One day, Magnus was giving water to his little collection of cacti who lived above his window, the same window who had a magnificient view on the park. "The Great!" he heard someone shouting from outside but did not recognize the deep voice. Magnus looked to the park, which was where the sound came from, and saw Alec on the swing as usual. "Hi, Alexander the Great." Magnus couldn't see it from here but he was sure that the other boy was heavily smiling. "Want to join me?" Said Alec and Magnus was slapped by him being so straightforward after the shy-mess Alexander showed him last time. "Perhaps. Am I invited?" asked Magnus.

"Of course!"

***

Few weeks later, Magnus was again with Alexander. It became an habit, something usual to do. He stopped looking at his window to watch him from afar, no, now he waited to hear his voice calling him, pleading him to come. Magnus had no idea of why a boy like Alec asked to hang out with him: he was so different, their education had nothing in common and so were their classes. Their brains had completely different ways of connecting and they decided to connect together. Suddenly, Alec wasn't scared of Magnus anymore. He talked to him and talked to him, delivering him details of his life. Magnus wondered if he was so open to him because he was lonely or if it was a way to let his feelings float. Magnus was happy to be the boat who helped to navigate Alec through his mind.

Alec was some kind of prodigy. When Magnus heard how many hours he worked when he was home he couldn't help but almost falling off his swing, surprised. "R-Repeat that?" he asked, not sure of what he heard. "When my classes are over, at four p.m., I go home and see my law teacher for an hour or polytechnics teacher for an hour. Depends on what day it is. Then my mother hushes me in the study until it is time to eat, so I can do my homework. And then, at twenty and a half, my piano teacher is here to hear me practice." Magnus' jaw dropped as Alec explained is well filled schedule. "Do you ever have time for yourself? What about social medias, do you even know what it is?" Alec laughed. His voice sounded like a fire cracking in the middle of the hard winter.

"I have time for myself when my homework is over and after piano. Also, yes, I do know that, but I don't... tweet or like anything, I don't have time for that." Magnus was still on the swing but wasn't playing on it anymore. He was floating slowly, letting gravity and physical laws working on him. "I can't believe that... Is it your parents who push you into this or?" Alec moved his head calmly. "Yeah. My mother more than my father, for sure, but both of them want me to succeed in life. I'm the first child, which means most hopes are on me. Izzy is a girl, so there's less weight on her shoulders, as sexist it may sounds. My other brothers are Jace and Max, but Jace is not really a Lightwood and Max is having the same treatment as I do, but not piano. Heavy is the head who wears the crown."

"You mean your sister gets less shit?" Asked Magnus. "She's smart. When she was ten, she discovered she wanted to be a designer. Mother and father were furious. They had so many plans for the family. They wanted me to be a judge, her a powerful lawyer, Jace a captain of a cop division and Max a lawyer too." Alec explained, softly. Magnus opened his mouth, surprised and started talking. "That's... That's so fucking vicious. If you're a judge then you have the judiciary power, if your brother and sister are lawyers then they're the legislative and if your other brother is a cop then... it means he's the executive. That's some heavy shit. A single family who holds every power possible in a gouverment. Sounds like we're back in the fifteen century..."

Alec slowed down so he could be on the same speed as Magnus then played anxiously with his fingers. "Yeah. That's pretty much a great representation of my family. Old-minded, full of anger, wanting power just to have power. I swear they called me Alexander because they thought I would be the conqueror they want. Back to the story with my sister. She's smart, like I said, and when she discovered she loved designing, she made a pact with my parents." Magnus licked his lips, not talking. Sometimes it was his turn, sometimes not, he knew when Alec wanted to free himself from his hidden demons. "Since Max would be a lawyer, there's no problem if she isn't... As long as she marries someone important in the law society."

"You've got to be kidding me."

Alec shook his head, bitting his lip nervously. "Her hand is already taken by some guy who's the son of someone who has a shit ton of influence." Magnus breathed out. "Crazy." Alec didn't answered as they both parted in their thoughts. Magnus was the one who broke the silence. "And you?" "And me, what?" Asked Alec, surprised. "What about you? What do you want to be?"

"It's funny, since no one ever asked me that, I never really thought about it."

***

"Happy birthday. I have a gift for you." This time, Alec had no time to call Magnus to leave his house and come play on the swing with him, no, when he arrived in the park, he was already there. He was waiting on that swing for a long time now and really hoped with all of his guts that Alec would show up on that special day. His friend now came everyday or every two days and the boys talked until their throat hurt. Every time they thought there wasn't anything else to say to the other but they were always wrong.

"How could you know it is my birthday?" Asked Alec, very much surprised by Magnus' attitude. "I couldn't miss that day, Alexander. It is not everyday that your close friend turns fifteen, honey." Alec smiled as he sat down on the swing. "You're unbelievable. How come do you know that it was my birthday?" Magnus made some moves with his arms and hands, trying to impress. "Magic." Alec raised an unimpressed eyebrow. "You may do not like a lot of things on Facebook but there's your birthday written on that thing." Alec made a small "oh" sound to that.

Magnus stood up and walked to be in front of Alec who was not playing with his swing. He was just sitting on it and Magnus looked so, so tall in front of him calmly seated. Alec moved a bit, uncomfortable with this closeness - Magnus knew everything about him, his little secrets (not all of them, thought Alec) his fears, his wishes, but they never touched each other since whenever they met they were seating on a swing. Magnus saw that Alec moved uncomfortably but couldn't help but not care. He wanted to be close, he would be close. The asiatic boy handed a little black box to Alex who took it, being very careful to not touch the other's skin. He silently asked with a look if it was really for him and if he really could open it and Magnus smirked to that innocent look, almost as if Alec was a four year old who wanted to eat the last part of the cake.

When Alec opened it, he saw a phone in it - an IPhone from an old generation, maybe a four or a four S but Alec couldn't really tell because he wasn't the best in technology. "What's that?" He asked. "That's a phone, Alexander. You can use it to contact other people or listen to music." Alec shook his head, "It's not- that's not what I meant. Of course I know it's a phone, idiot. I just want to know how the hell you paid that, I'm sure it wasn't free." Magnus moved to his swing before answering. "My aunt told me she wanted to sell her old phone. I worked for her garden for two weeks and then replaced what was wrong in her phone. It's not a new, I'm sorry. But at least it works as good as a new one."

"I don't care if it's not new." Whispered Alec softly. "I can't realize that you bought me a phone. That's... a lot. Thank you." Magnus smiled kindly to his friend. "I- uhm. It's good that you're giving me this now. I'm now in third grade and well, mother gets suspicious about me going out every afternoon somewhere she doesn't know so she's... giving me limits." Magnus pressed his lips together, unable to answer. "I was afraid to tell you that, I'm not sure why. Maybe because you'll get angry at me for leaving you so soon after we became close," he was stopped by Magnus, "Don't ever say that. I can't be mad at you, really. If I'm mad at someone it is your mom, that's for sure." Alec smiled awkwardly before handing his new phone to Magnus. "Enter your name and number, so I can text you. I won't be able to come and play as much as before so for now... Well, you know."

Magnus took the phone and started writing. After that he took his own and asked Alec his number so he could have it too. "Wait- you called yourself Sweet Cheeks?" Magnus smiled. "It was a tough choice. Either that or Magnus, the real love of my life." Alec laughed then renamed Magnus.

***

from: Alexander the Great  
to: Mags  
school started at eight this morning and i feel dead. send help.

from: Mags  
to: Alexander the Great  
Don't be such an annoying kid. Smile and learn, that's what your precious mother wants you to.

from: Alexander the Great  
to: Mags  
ssssh shut up mags you're the annoying one

***

from: Mags  
to: Alexander the Great  
Doesn't it bother you to be friends with someone way older than you?

from: Alexander the Great  
to: Mags  
doesn't it bother you're to be friends with someone way younger than you

from: Mags  
to: Alexander the Great  
In a way, you're more mature than me. I guess no.

from: Alexander the Great  
to: Mags  
well you have your answer

from: Alexander the Great  
to: Mags  
plus i kinda like the sound of your voice

from: Mags  
to: Alexander the Great  
Don't double text. That's for losers, Alexander.

from: Alexander the Great  
to: Mags  
"that's for losers alexander" say that i'm in the football league i can't be a loser

from: Mags  
to: Alexander the Great  
No way. You're in the football team? How do you manage so many things.

from: Alexander the Great  
to: Mags  
i have my mother behind my back

from: Mags  
to: Alexander the Great  
It explains. It also explains your body type. And huge sexism.

from: Alexander the Great  
to: Mags  
ok when and where do i fight you for telling this

from: Mags  
to: Alexander the Great  
I was kidding. Irony. Wait for two years, you'll learn how to use it in English classes.

from: Alexander the Great  
to: Mags  
very funny

from: Mags  
to: Alexander the Great  
I wasn't kidding that time. It's really in the program.

from: Alexander the Great  
to: Mags  
sometimes you're such a kid i forget that you're actually older than me

from: Alexander the Great  
to: Mags  
shit! mother is home. bye

from: Mags  
to: Alexander the Great  
Bye. Good luck.

***  
from: Mags  
to: Alexander the Great  
Merry Halloween!

from: Alexander the Great  
to: Mags  
dork

from: Mags  
to: Alexander the Great  
Yes, I'm fine Alexander. Thanks for asking.

from: Alexander the Great  
to: Mags  
yea sure anyway

from: Alexander the Great  
to: Mags  
i was wondering since i'm going to do all of the neighborhood with max for candy

from: Alexander the Great  
to: Mags  
maybe i can like see you for few minutes? if you want to of course

from: Alexander the Great  
to: Mags  
mags?

from: Mags  
to: Alexander the Great  
Sorry. I was on the phone. I just said yes to a party. I had no idea of your plans, Alec. I wish I knew them sooner. I would've agreed.

from: Alexander the Great  
to: Mags  
shit

(Alexander the Great sent an image!)

from: Alexander the Great  
to: Mags  
look who is in front of your house while you're not there

from: Mags  
to: Alexander the Great  
You look great. Whatare you as

from: Alexander the Great  
to: Mags  
max wanted to be a warlock so i had to follow the feeling

from: Mags  
to: Alexander the Great  
Thats hella cute

from: Mags  
to: Alexander the Great  
Can I have a pictre of Max too?

from: Alexander the Great  
to: Mags  
mags you're typing weird. and double texting. u ok buddy?

from: Mags  
to: Alexander the Great  
Sure sure I'm very fine

from: Mags  
to: Alexander the Great  
Wher'es the picture?

(Alexander the Great sent an image!)

from: Alexander the Great  
to: Mags  
what's going on

from: Mags  
to: Alexander the Great  
I may or may not have used aclool

from: Alexander the Great  
to: Mags  
uncool very uncool

from: Alexander the Great  
to: Mags  
you're texting me drunk?

from: Mags  
to: Alexander the Great  
Love your brother. He's cute

from: Mags  
to: Alexander the Great  
Yes. I can stop if you want

from: Alexander the Great  
to: Mags  
how come are you drunk on halloween, you're not legal

from: Mags  
to: Alexander the Great  
Well technically I am legal in Belgium

from: Alexander the Great  
to: Mags  
you're not belgian mags

from: Mags  
to: Alexander the Great  
I'm a lot a things, Alexanter.

from: Alexander the Great  
to: Mags  
sure. go to sleep

from: Mags  
to: Alexander the Great  
I was wondering

from: Alexander the Great  
to: Mags  
tell me friend

from: Alexander the Great  
to: Mags  
mags??

from: Alexander the Great  
to: Mags  
mags u better not have fallen asleep

from: Alexander the Great  
to: Mags  
oh god i hate you

from: Alexander the Great  
to: Mags  
(it's irony)

***  
from: Alexander the Great  
to: Mags  
mags it's soon the exam period!!!!

from: Mags  
to: Alexander the Great  
Well. That's not a reason to be happy.

from: Alexander the Great  
to: Mags  
it is actually!!! we'll see each other!

from: Alexander the Great  
to: Mags  
i missed u bro

from: Mags  
to: Alexander the Great  
Missed you too. Sometimes I dream that you're my prince waiting at my window, asking me to play on the swing but I always wake up with tears and my heart broken by you not being here.

from: Alexander the Great  
to: Mags  
ha ha ha very funny

from: Mags  
to: Alexander the Great  
Why can you meet me when you're in exam period? Aren't you supposed to work more?

from: Alexander the Great  
to: Mags  
oh yes i do but mother cancels law classes and polytech too so i can work. plus she's okay with me going to do walks to let some hair into her fav son brain

from: Mags  
to: Alexander the Great  
I'm sure Jace's the favorite son.

from: Alexander the Great  
to: Mags  
you're probably right

from: Mags  
to: Alexander the Great  
I'm happy we'll meet again. See you in ...?

from: Alexander the Great  
to: Mags  
a week

from: Mags  
to: Alexander the Great  
See you in a week.  
***  
from: Alexander the Great  
to: Mags  
it's three days now

***  
from: Mags  
to: Alexander the Great  
As cheesy as it sounds, I really look forward seeing you again. Two days.

***  
from: Mags  
to: Alexander the Great  
It's tomorrow, Alexander.

***  
from: Alexander the Great  
to: Mags  
buddy, come downstairs, your bro is there

They met again and it felt like they were separated for years and years. For the first time, they risked themselves to touch each other. If you asked them, both would answer that it was the other's initiative (while, in reality, they decided to do that together).

***

Magnus learned that Alexander Lightwood was a clock. He showed time flow out with his body, when he grew muscles, the moment when his jaw started to be refined, when his hands changed. A sculptor came one day into his life and created the replica of Adonis with Alec's body, using the sand of the time flowing to manipulate his skin softly. Alexander Lightwood was a pocket watch from the early seventeen century: he was old, is soul was way too old for his teenager body - his mind and scars were too deep for such a young boy. But he was still working as if it was his first day, gear touching and doing their hard labor years after years. Alexander Lightwood was an enigma like time, we didn't know how his mind and steps followed each after each.

Maybe that's why Magnus and him were good for the other. They fell together at the right time to see each other grow up. Sure, Magnus saw him from his twelve years to even more and Alec only learned about his friend's existence when Magnus was sixteen. Magnus was like the sun: shining as much as he could, talking and laughing loud. It didn't bother Alec. He was like the moon: his only light was the reflection of the powerful sun. He lived in other people shadow just to take out some life out of them. When he was younger, it used to be from Jace but Magnus was different than his brother, he was exotic, he was new, he was himself. Alec was like the moon, he liked to giggle softly, smile awkwardly and whisper his thoughts. Alec was a closed book when Magnus was an open window.

They were like the ying and the yang, the white and the black, the light and the shadow. They adored each other from many reasons, the first one being that they were both mysteries. Magnus touched Alec's heart in a way no one did, he helped him clearing his soul with his kind words and sometimes would even succeed in make Alec talk. Alec touched Magnus' heart in a way no one did, he intrigued him with all of his presence. He clicked in the right way his buttons, knowing everything that made him feel great and everything who didn't, and sometimes Magnus felt like talking was too much because, anyway, Alec knew everything about him already.

***

from: Mags  
to: Alexander the Great  
I was wondering. Why are you single?

from: Alexander the Great  
to: Mags  
excuse me

from: Mags  
to: Alexander the Great  
Don't take it the bad way, but you're the American boy cliché who succeeds at school, is in the football team, looks like Adonis. There's a girlfriend missing in your picture, Alexander.

from: Alexander the Great  
to: Mags  
i don't want to be with someone i don't like and it's not like anyone has ever showed interest

from: Alexander the Great  
to: Mags  
like okay girls look at me like I'm some hot angel but that's the thing. they all think that im better and not on their league so they don't even try to ask me out

from: Mags  
to: Alexander the Great  
Ridiculous but I can understand.

***

"Who are you texting so much, Magnus?" Asked Clary, eyeing her friend up and down, appreciating what he wore that day. "Someone. None of your business, actually." She rolled her eyes. They were walking to Magnus' house, passing through his neighborhood. Even if Alec knew where Magnus lived, it wasn't the other way round. Whenever he passed the houses in streets he knew so well by heart since he was a kid, he couldn't help but wonder which one was the Lightwood's. He could, of course, search for every name on every bell but it wasn't a good idea - that would make him look like a stalker.

 

"Got someone?" She asked, pushing even more. She knew that when Magnus told her to stop and mind her own business, it was a joke and that he would indeed explain everything to her. "No, actually, that's my best friend." He told her, smiling as he put his phone in his pocket. "Oh, so Raphael has a phone, for real? He told me no. Maybe he really hates me." Magnus made a head sign. "He wasn't messing with you, that's not him." Clary looked her ballerinas as she walked next to Magnus. "I thought your best friend was Raphael?" The asiatic boy raised his eyebrow. "Right. At school, yes. But there's someone to whom I'm closer to outside of school."

 

"No way? Why did you never introduced him? Or she? To the group?"

 

"Uh... He's quite the... quiet type. He's not the best at being social with large groups, less with you being a complete snuggling ball, or Raphael lurking at people, and I'm not talking about Simon who never shuts his mouth. Not the best team ever for someone scared of his own shadow." Clary laughed at his remark but before she had the time to answer some snarky remark on the behalf of her friends, a voice stopped her from talking. "Hey! Hey! Clary, is this you?" Magnus knew that voice, but he couldn't tell from where.

 

They both turned around to face a tall woman with long black ink hair. She had wonderful hips and seemed clearly aware of her shining beauty, showing it in the way she moved. "Oh my, Isabelle!" Magnus frowned, asking himself if this was just a normal Isabelle or Alec's Isabelle. The two girls hugged and once the black haired girl was in front of Magnus, she examined him precisely. "First time seeing a boy who wears the eyeliner better than me," which made him smiled brightly, " I have to admit that I'm a bit jealous." Magnus laughed. "Well, thank you a lot. I'm Magnus Bane, and you are...?"

 

"Oh! I'm so sorry. I have to introduce you guys. So here, that's Magnus Bane, my friend from school, I have history of art with him, and this is Isabelle Lightwood, my boyfriend's sister." She said making heavy gestures to one then to the other, as she usually does when she talks. Magnus furrowed his brows. He turned to Clary so quickly his head almost felt dizzy. "No way. You're dating Alexander?" Clary turned to Magnus and so did Izzy. "No way, you call my brother Alexander?" said the Lightwood while the redhead added: "How do you know Alec?" Magnus was overwhelmed by the questions, to which one should he answer first?

 

"You're dating Alexander?" he said again, watching Clary, then turned to Isabelle, "Yes, I like that name," and then back to Clary, "I met him in a park three years ago. Kinda." The girl with long hair took the parlor. "Wait. Magnus, stop moving so fast, you're giving me dizziness. Firstly, no one calls my brother like that, he really hates it, with a big H. Secondly, Clary is dating my other brother-" "Jace. Pretty boy with blond hair." Magnus interrupted and Isabelle smirked. "Yes, pretty boy with blond hair. You met him too, I see." The asiatic made a head sign showing negativity. "No, but Alexander told me a lot about him." Isabelle was ready to speak and ask a ton of questions again but today was not the day for complete conversations since her phone started buzzing in her pocket. She picked it up with her large hands and answered with a religious smirk.

 

"Hey. Sure, yes... Mother said what? Of course I'll be home in time. Oh no- don't hang up! I'm outside, right now, with Clary and one of her..." she turned to Magnus, giving him a knowing smile, "friends. You should show up. I don't care if you're running, you have to come. We're like just in front of our neighbors. What do you mean, what neighbors? We live on the corner of a street, Alec. Yes, the Coopers. Of course." Magnus looked around and saw the house just to his right. It was fairly simple, a normal house in a normal neighborhood. He pointed it to Clary. "That's where they live?" Clary made a head sign and Isabelle stopped her call.

 

"You're marvelous, Isabelle." She gave him one of the biggest smiles he ever saw on a Lightwood (even if he saw Alec smile few times, Isabelle was way much better at it) "That's what my brother gets for not telling me he finally made a friend out of school." Magnus crossed his arms but couldn't help but smile. She was not like her brother at all, she was probably everything he wasn't.

 

Magnus was eager to see Alexander. Since the exams session was over for now few months, the last time he saw Alec was three weeks ago. Seeing his best friend only once in a while was annoying, but it made the best meetups, like they were rediscovering each other again each time. Even if Alec liked to show a cold boy at first, in the end he was the same snuggly ball as Clary was. He loved hugs and it hurt Magnus to think that he loved them so much it proved that he wasn't hugged enough as a kid. But in front of Clary and Isabelle, will he act like Magnus was the next stranger? Or just one of his simple friends? That was the kind of things Magnus could see Alec do.

 

He arrived, all in sweat from running with one of his earbuds falling off his ear. He was dressed all in black - how surprising, thought Magnus. The asiatic cringed at Alec's sweaty state, not wanting him close of him since the smell of sweat was fairly gross for Magnus. Even when it came from a strongly attractive boy who played football, it was still gross. Alec's eyes were first on his sister, to whom he gave a smile and Magnus was jealous that only her presence made the boy smile, it was so simple while he had to his tricks to get those lips to move up. Then on Clary and the smile fell a little, not so much, but still, and then it was on him. Alec stopped in his course, five meters away from the group.

 

"You've got to be kidding me..." he started walking fast to reach them, "Hi Clary, hi Isabelle, hi Magnus." The asiatic boy made a weird face. Of course Alexander wouldn't act normally-snuggly with him if there was other people around. It was to be planned but it still made him fell useless as a friend. He smiled quietly as Alec talked with his sister and he finally left with Clary few minutes later. None of them made a remark of this incident later and none of them wanted to talk about it.

 

***

On day, Magnus found Alec sitting on the swing alone while it was raining cats and dogs outside. He was at his window, which he opened right after he saw his best friend getting wet under the grey sky. "Are you crazy, Alexander? It's another passage of Noa's prophecy right now and you're just there without an umbrella?" Alec turned slowly his head, and only his head nothing much, to Magnus. "I don't really care." He screamed back so Magnus could hear him from his house. "Is there a problem, Alec?" He didn't answer, he stayed with their eyes locked - blue orbs transpiercing gold-green ones. "Alexander? Do I have to worry?" Alec opened his mouth few times, trying to connect nerves with his tongue. "I don't really care. I don't want you to move." Magnus bit his lip. Everything tasted metal. His friend couldn't trust him enough to say what was wrong, even less that something was wrong.

 

He didn't care about Alec's demand on him not going to join him so he closed his window in a fast movement and put on warm clothes. He took a long black coat with him but didn't put it on, this one was for his best friend. He hurried his steps and he was in front of a sad Alexander too soon for him to think about something to say. "Alexander."

 

"I said I didn't- you're unbelievable. What do you want?" Asked Alec drily. Magnus blinked once, twice, three times before answering the first sentence that came to his mind. "I brought you a coat," but it died in his breath. He walked slowly and put it on Alec at the same rate in a silence that was cutting the inside of their brains like blades. It's like our first meeting, thought Magnus when he felt his mouth. It tasted metal, again, he couldn't say why. "What do you need? I want to help."

 

Alec's eyes lifted up and Magnus met his best friend under a new roof. The sea in his eyes was dying - drying itself. The animals inside weren't deadly anymore since they were all long gone. "Can't I be myself for a while?" Asked Alec and Magnus didn't answered. "Can't I be all by myself? Why are you even here, Magnus? When did I ask, really. Why are you still here? It used to be my place. I need a little bit of time alone and you're here. It's just- it's not you. It's me and it sounds painfully cliché but it's literally me. I'm a teenager and I know that's the reason why I'm feeling like shit right now, hormones all of that. I just need some time to breathe and I want my own bubble and, I'm sorry Magnus, but you're piercing my bubble right now. I really like you and you know you're the first one to who I run to when I need help but that's not what I'm asking for. I'm happy you were here with me while I grew up but it's getting tiring of being your young friend, you know. You're well more experienced in everything, you had all of your firsts and I hate being your friend less two years, you know." He breathed out.

 

"I said it wasn't you and then I'm telling it's you. I hate this, I hate how tight I'm feeling and how close I'm speaking and I really want you to leave because I'm giving you shit for nothing just because you're next to me to the moment while the person I should scream at is someone else but no, you're the one who showed up and you're the one who brought me a coat, you're the one who cares and you're the one I spit my feelings to." Magnus looked at him with neutral eyes, taking all in. "My sister says heavy is the head who wears the crown and fuck, yes, it's fucking heavy. The problem is that I'm not wearing my crown right, my mother never put it on my head, I'm wearing my crown like a dog, on a collar that my mother closes tight." Magnus let his eyes fall to the ground. "There's something I don't understand. Two years ago,you had my age, the same hormonal feelings that put you down, we were friends but you never had a tint of sad. You're always happy and I love you that way but it's tiring. Why am I sad while you're not? Is it because you grew way quicker than I did? I still feel like a kid."

 

Magnus wanted to say that it was wrong, that Alec actually grew up too fast - that he was the boy who became an adult at the age of twelve, who outgrew his body - who's eyes are way to old for his body. He wanted to tell him how he was a clock but he couldn't because it wouldn't help Alec. "Do you ever feel bad?" Alec said, eyes almost closed.

 

"First time I felt bad was a long time ago," he blurted out and suddenly Alec's poisonous words calmed down and so did the boy, giving all of his attention to his best friend. "I never told you because I feel like you already know it anyway, but I'm bisexual," said Magnus and Alec's lips parted, "and sometimes people are homophobic, you know, and the worst are kids because what they think they say it out loud, but of course I grew to not care about remarks but the first time someone told me I was wrong it hurt like hell. But I don't care anymore because my mom, and yes I say mom even if it makes me sound like a kid, I know you and Isabelle use mother but that word is lifeless, well my mom told me to find my special place to be happy and sad there and I don't care about being hurt anymore because it doesn't help you in life. It gets you nowhere. Happiness leads you to adventures."

 

He walked to be in front of Alec and he took him between his arms and he didn't care if his heartbeat was hearable directly in his ears, then he placed his hands on Alec's chin and forced him too look him in the eyes. The sea in his best friend's blue orbs was now painless, the deadly animals left to let leave others live there, the water was a different shade of blue, one that was way quieter and peaceful. "I think here- this swing. That's my special place." Magnus smiled. "I know. I knew it when I saw you there for the first time." Alec laughed but it was more a reflex than anything else. "And you, have you found your special place?"

 

"I think I did."

 

***

 

 

The feelings started quietly. Maybe they were already there even in the so beginning. The friendship between them was so strong, you could compare it to Montaigne and La Boétie's, Jonathan and David's. They were each's everything, and the fact that they couldn't see each other everyday created a incredible link between their hearts. Once Alec told Magnus about a well known Asian prophecy in which soulmates are linked to each other with a red string, strangling their fingers together. He secretly told him that he thought they were soulmates in a way lovers couldn't understand - they were friends, they were linked so closely, like twins attached to each other. Alec was a bit superstitious which Magnus wasn't, but it worked on him. It made Magnus think more than he should.

 

Magnus was about to turn eighteen in a month precisely when he was staring at his ceiling, melting in his mattress as it was heavy chocolate. His thoughts were linking like red strings of love when he suddenly realized that something was missing. He couldn't put a finger or quite say what it was, but something was gone - something maybe he never had, something he never gave away. Then he heard Alec's laugh and even if he looked outside from his window, he couldn't see him. He was tired, it was too early in the morning hours, he should be sleeping but he couldn't.

 

It just came to his mind, slowly whispering thoughts around his brain, taking advantage of it as quickly as it could. It said that he loved the way Alexander laughed, the way his eyes moved when he smiled, the way his ears turned red too when he was flustered, the way his hands gripped the swing when he was playing on it, the way his hair got stuck with the powerful wind, how wild were his thoughts when then met in the middle of the night, how old his eyes were when they looked at each other, how pretty his nose would turn into a shade of pink when he was cold, how he always seated next to him whenever they took the bus, t-shirt against t-shirt, how their knees touched whenever he moved and how he never cringed at contact between them. And, the most important, how Alexander Lightwood was perfect in his imperfections.

 

There was a flag in Magnus' mind on which was written Alexander Gideon Lightwood in a messy writing. There was that flag that said that it was him who conquered the place, him who discovered, him who had place there. And, he thought that in a way, Alexander the Great had much to envy from Alexander Lightwood. Of course, one conquered the whole world, but the other one conquered Magnus' whole world.

 

***

 

When Magnus Bane turned eighteen, his friends decided that it was the right time to go outside and get drunk even if the sun wasn't down yet. They played all together cards games in the only purpose of drinking vodka mixed with fruit juices. Magnus, Catarina and Ragnor's preferences went to apple juice, while Clary, Raphael and his boyfriend Simon enjoyed orange juice. It was a perfect mix, they all had what they wanted.

 

Maybe doing it in a park wasn't the best idea since it was a public place but they didn't really care since it was Magnus' birthday - eighteen, even, what an important moment. Before they even started drinking, Clary came to Magnus. "I invited Alec and his family too, I thought maybe that would make you happy."Magnus smiled heavily, "Of course! As long as you didn't invited his parents or Max, he's too young for this kind of parties." Clary laughed which meant that she didn't and then they all started playing and drinking a little. Isabelle was the first of the Lightwoods to show up, quickly followed by Clary's boyfriend. "Alec still has piano, he's coming after that. I don't know if he got mother to say yes, she was a bit repulsive."

 

"Wait, so your mom said yes to you, a girl who is two years younger than him and yes to Jace, but not to him? I mean it's his best friend's birthday, no?" Asked Simon and Isabelle shrugged. "Mother is like that with him. He's the hope of family, so if she ever learns that there's alcohol here that's for sure he will never show up." Magnus facepalmed himself, their mom was being ridiculous and taking away Alec's young years so fast. They dropped the subject and all started to play together.

 

Since it was Magnus' birthday, they did everything to get him waisted, and by waisted he meant really waisted. Since their drinking game had the possibility of giving alcohol to others, they all decided to fuck up Magnus. Thanks for him, he wasn't a light weight and even with all of their attacks he was still himself - he talked way more, way faster, said things he thought without even realizing he said them but he wasn't drunk dead either.

Alec never showed up. Magnus was a bit sad about that but in the end, he had a wonderful evening with (almost) all of his friends. They talked and they talked until the sun was down and few hours after - letting the alcohol away. Some of them were tipsy, some of them not, some of the were very far away. Magnus still had this dizziness that comes with drinking, like the gravity laws changed only because he drank few glasses of vodka-apple juice. It felt like flying and crashing hard on the ground at the same time. His face was hot, and that was his favourite part from drinking, his face felt numb.

Somewhere near two thirty, at a reasonable hour for a party like these, way before the early morning, they all left for different houses. Clary, Jace and Isabelle went to Casa di Lightwoods while Raphael and his boyfriend took a taxi to go to Simon's house and Catarina and Ragnor left together, walking to their places since they lived no so far away from where they were now and from each other. Magnus went home alone, he didn't mind at all.

He made everything to not make any noises as he walked the stairs and once he was in his room, he let himself since the walls were soundproof. He quickly undressed, putting on a new boxer and that felt really great, almost stress relieving, and for his t-shirt he took a silk button up that he didn't buttoned-up in the end. He was completely ready to give himself to Morphée's hands (tooth done, makeup off, skin treated) when he heard a slight "kling".

He had no idea from where it came from and his head was still showing the world as if he was a bowling ball. He decided that it was nothing and prepared himself to go in his bed when the sound was done again. It came from his window: he opened the curtains and saw what Juliet saw. A boy for who he has deep feelings, looking right at him in the light of the moon. He smiled heavily, more happy than before and opened his window. "Ô Roméo! Roméo! pourquoi es-tu Roméo?" Said Magnus with a large english accent. He heard Alec's soft giggles. "Why do you say it in french?" Magnus shrugged. "I like french." There was a silence between them for few seconds but it was habitual between them to take breaks.

 

"Can you open? So I don't spend the night outside? Pretty please?" Asked Alec. Magnus blinked. "Wait, what are you even doing here? You're spending the night?" He asked, very confused.  
"Open. Quick. I still live on the corner of the street so hurry up and open before my parents show up." Magnus blinked again few times before coming down and open the door to his best friend. He hushed him inside, taking him in a big hug. Alexander was cold from the temperature outside. Since his mom was sleeping he couldn't show him properly his house and instead he just lead him to his room. Once they closed the door from his bedroom, Alec started explaining everything.

"Mother said no when I asked if I could come to your birthday party and I was so angry when I heard that my brother and sister could go but not me. So I kinda left my room when everyone was asleep?" He said, turning it as if it was a question. "So I just have to wake up before seven and go back and everything will be okay for me. Are you okay with me staying here tonight?" He asked, his eyes pleading Magnus.

"Of course. You're so welcome. You want some clothes to sleep?" Alec smiled quietly as made a head sign. Magnus took a large golden t-shirt and gave it to his best friend who made a weird head since it was way to colourful for him. He changed and Magnus looked away. "So... Your breath tells me you've been drinking." He explains. Magnus sat on the bed, looking at him with wide eyes, mostly because he was highly concentrated on Alexander wearing his favourite t-shirt and how good he looked in it. "Yeah... A bit. I'm still a bit tipsy if I'm honest, but not dead drunk. I will remember everything tomorrow, it that's what you're silently asking." Alec smiles to the answer.

"I don't have a birthday gift, I'm sorry." He says, looking down. Magnus puts his hand over his best friends' cheek and forces him to lock eyes. "I don't really care, you know. You don't have to." Alec shook his head with force which took off Magnus' hand. "It's not that I forgot... I know well but I just... I have no idea of what you'd like."

"Oh. You should have asked me." Alec sat on the bed too, his knee touching Magnus'. "I know." He made small circles with his thumb on Magnus' bare skin. The asiatic boy felt shivers but said nothing because Alexander's movement was so perfectly wanted and innocent. He let himself for a second, only concentrated on his own breathing and his crush's. "I think just you being with me is enough." He said, breaking the silence. Alec looked at him directly in the eyes. "I was thinking about buying you a book on Klein. You said you liked his blue paintings." Magnus chuckled quietly. "Yeah, I do. I have the chance of seeing one of his paintings in real life, sometimes." Alec's eyes lit up. "Really?" He asked, not aware that Magnus was actually talking about Alexander's sea eyes. He hummed at him in return and let his head fall on his friend's shoulder. Alec took him in his arms, now making circles on Magnus' back.

"Funny. First time I saw you I was sacred like hell. Now it doesn't feel normal when I'm around you and that I'm not showing you affection." Said Alec and Magnus chuckled in the other boy's shoulder. "Mh-mh. 'Feels nice."

"And then, when I gave up on the book gift, I thought about buying you some makeup, but I realised that it wasn't really my domain, you know? My sister said I should buy you a sweater. Or a t-shirt. But again it's not what I know better and I'm really not sure of what you like. I know you like my black sweater so I thought- why not getting you the same? But you're no really the black type."

Magnus smiled really hard against Alexander's shoulder. He was way too cute talking that way, not sure of what he was really saying. Probably the hour being two in the morning made his head feel as dizzy as Magnus' was. "I like your sweater, but you don't have to. I like your sweater because it's yours, you should know that." Magnus knew that Alec was biting his lip nervously, he did that very often. "You want mine then?" He proposed. "What, your own sweater? Isn't that a boyfriend kinda thing?" He asked and Alec froze. He stopped playing with Magnus' back and he was as cold as ice. He melted against Magnus' warmth and they were ice versus fire and they both started being with and against each other. "Let's do it a best friend kinda thing."

They stayed that way for the whole night, not sleeping. They played with each other's backs, hair, arms. For more time than it should have lasted, Magnus forgot that the precious boy that he held between his arms and that he was cuddling with was not his boyfriend but his best friend. When he realised that they weren't together, it hurt in a way he couldn't explain. He was also completely okay with that, the fact that Alexander wasn't his lover but his friend. He liked to be there for the boy, and Alec was still a sixteen year old boy who had much to live, his own adventures. Magnus wasn't sure if Alec was interested in boys in anyway, romantically or sexually, but he wasn't eager to know. If Alexander Lightwood wanted to date him some time, he would say yes, but he wouldn't push him into a relationship he didn't wanted.

 

It was well easier to think than act. Because when those thoughts were in Magnus' mind, three seconds after Alexander would look at him with those Klein blue eyes with pure emotions and Magnus couldn't help but suddenly come closer to the boy, wanting to praise him as much as he should be. Alec wan't a God like Magnus thought. He was way more and little than that. He was so mortal with his feelings and age, he had so much more than what a God had. He was so unperfect with his anxiety taking control of his hands when a test was coming soon, his mouth unable to speak when his heart ache, how his voice stopped when he tried not to laugh too loudly. A God was perfect and Alec wasn't and that made him so much more him, so much more interesting.

 

Alec was looking at him with his Klein eyes. Magnus couldn't help but take his jaw between his large fingers and stared at Alexander's face with curiousness. He wanted to say that him being tipsy gave him the idea of pressing his lips against Alec's soft ones, but he couldn't blame it on the alcohol. It was his idea from his brain who wasn't intoxicated with liquid but with love and feelings. He approached himself from the Lightwood with a slow movement and Alec didn't do anything except staring at Magnus' eyes with insistance. When he was close, maybe too close of the young boy, he saw him closing his eyes and just waiting for something to happen, moving his hands to the asiatic boy's neck.

 

That was the moment where Magnus stopped getting closer to Alec. His mind woke up from his dizzy dream, telling him it was time to stop from this madness. His head moved away from Alec's, who slowly opened his eyes. He looked at him with questioning iris, pressing his lips. "I think it's time for me to go." He said with a tired voice. Magnus made a head sign because he was right, it was better for them to end it there before Magnus has time to cross a line.

 

They never talked about it after, about the almost kiss that didn't happened, who shouldn't have been stopped and who shouldn't have been started. Their relationship stayed the same for months and months. Magnus couldn't tell what was weirder: the fact that it almost happened or the fact that it changed nothing between them.

***

 

"So you're moving out." Alec said, not looking at Magnus. "Yes. Indeed. For school purposes. I will still live in the same city, Alexander, just the other side of it. It won't change much, I'll come back to see you once in a while." He answered, lowering his hand on his best friends' back. Alec breathed out at the contact. "It feels like you're leaving." Magnus laughed. "It's not the case at all." Alec locked his eyes with his friend and pouted heavily.

 

"I'm happy you got into that art school you wanted to be in but I don't want you to go." Magnus patted him again. "I'm not leaving you okay? Just moving out. Nothing more. I won't suddenly find another guy somewhere else to play on a swing with." Alec continued to pout even after that.

***  
Magnus dated. He was deeply in love with Alexander but he decided that it was better for Alec to have his own experiences before trying to start a fire between them. He wanted to live things too, some without his best friend, some with. Everything felt better with Alec at his side, his arm quietly brushing Magnus', as a reminder that he was there. He knew how he felt for Alec but never told him and, still, dated other people. He wasn't a whore, he actually thought that the term was used for too many wrong occasions, someone enjoying sex shouldn't be annoyed because of his pleasures. You don't hate on people for enjoying chocolate, you don't hate on people for enjoying sex, it was as simple as that.

His first girlfriend was named Etta. He liked her, a lot, but the problem was that he only liked her and not more. Alec asked pictures when he told him the news and was a bit taken aback by her powerful beauty. Then it ended and they were both okay with that. It was a passage, as they called it, it was just a thing at a point of their life. They both enjoyed the relationship but weren't against ending it. Then came Imasu, his first friend with benefits that almost turned into a real boyfriend when the other boy asked, one night when it was so late that it become too early. He was very nice and good looking but they never really clicked together, not the same way Alec and Magnus were puzzle parts.

Then Camille came and every time her soft hands touched Magnus' skin, he shivered and it worked, for once, he could forget that the hands weren't his and that in a way, everything hurt because being with someone else was wrong when Alexander was so right for him, in every way. With Camille it worked, his thoughts about a certain boy with blue eyes disappeared, letting place to a wonderful girl with curious hair and amazing lips.

That time, she ended it. It destroyed him a bit and he never really told Alexander because he knew that the other boy wanted to help and would become way too fluffy, cuddly, kind with him and that would be way too much for him to hold himself and not try steal a kiss. He said nothing to Alexander because he knows that he would take the rejection from himself and would grow with anger towards Camille. If one of them is cut, they both bleed. Plus it wasn't such an important thing to say to Alec. Magnus liked his love life separated from his best friend - for numerous obvious reasons that only him and you, reader, know.

Alec dated, too. He only heard about one girl and Magnus thinks very deeply that she was the only one. She was pretty, from the few times he saw her. She had a wonderful smile with great features all around her face, and her long blond hair reminded him of Camille. She was named Lydia and was very smart, in Alec's school, and more importantly, a lawyer's daughter. Magnus suspected that this was something that Alec's mother had made up, but apparently not, it was Alec and only Alec's choice. One time, late night, he secretly told Magnus that she made his family happy and that thanks to her they let him more freedom. Magnus saw them kissing and even if he wanted to be jealous, he truly wanted to, he couldn't because his friend was happy with his first kiss, girlfriend, time. They had a sex talk once but it was very awkward, mostly thanks to Alec who acted like he was the biggest virgin ever, which, from Izzy's informations, wasn't really the case. He said to Magnus, "I don't know, it's just - weird." And Magnus didn't know if he was talking about the sex talk or if he talked about the sex itself.

Like every relation, it ended. This one had lasted for six months or so, and Lydia and Alec were still good friends after that.  
***

Magnus decided that it was a good idea to wait for his best friend in front of his school, after the end of class hours. He was wearing one of his favourite jacket, a gold one, with no t-shirt below it. He didn't particularly care about that because it was almost summer and a lot of boys were outside shirtless. Most of his mind was occupied by a certain Alexander Lightwood, the boy who was his best friend. Last time that the boys saw each other was three months ago: with Magnus working more for university and living away complicated things. In the past year, they saw each other less than four times and that, as Alec said so brutally, kinda sucks.

Alec took him directly in a hug and Magnus thought about the old times when his friend was afraid to show affection in public, and now how he was completely popping his own space bubble to take Magnus in it. He smiled against his best friend's shoulder and tried to hide the fact that he was inspiring Alec's scent. "Welcome home," Magnus said while he felt Alec move against him. Alec left the hug and stood in front of his friend with a large smile on his lips. "Dork. It's been a while! Why are you here now?" Magnus shrugged. "I don't know. Maybe I wanted to see my best friend, but I doubt that." He grinned as he spoke, watching Alec with his feline eyes.

"You're also not wearing a shirt." Added his friend brutally, a bit suspicious. Magnus faked his surprise and played like he was in a bad movie. "Oh no! That was what was missing. I forgot a shirt. Right. Too bad, I guess I'll have to stay that way and you have the obligation to watch my abs all day. I hope you don't mind too much." Alexander laughed and Isabelle came, followed by some of her friends. Magnus said hi, kissed her cheek and proposed his hand to people he didn't know. "Hi I'm Magnus." One of the girls did something weird with her eyes as he introduced himself. "Wait, Magnus as in Magnus Bane?" He smiled, happy to be recognized. "Yes. Do I know you?" She moved her head, saying no. "You were in class with my sister and you're in the same Uni as her now. I heard some party stuff about you." Magnus cringed a bit and gave a look to Alec, hoping he wasn't imagining him being a dick, or even worst, hardcore porn involving him.

"That time you cooked a chicken in the middle of the night for the people at the party. Or the time you almost cried because someone killed a snail you found on the road." He pressed his lips. "Just when I forget about my friend's death, people come and remind me." He joked. Alec smiled widely. "Well, you may be not legal but you do seem to touch alcohol." Magnus smiled. "Sure, you know me." They continued to talk until time ran out and when Alec was about to go home, Magnus took his arm firmly and crossed his eyes to tell him that he could spend his night at his mom's, like they did years before as a "good old time" thing. Alec was way more than happy to say yes to the offer and Alexander texted his mother to explain the plans. She said yes, as surprisingly as it really sounds. They stayed together as long as they could, holding each other like they held time, very closely. In a way, they knew that they wouldn't see the other before long - maybe another pair of months, so they decided to make this time count. Every time counted. They just laid down on Magnus' bed, under too many covers for a night in the beginning of summer, and ate ice cream while watching an episode of Penny Dreadful.  
***

from: Mags

to: Alexander the Great

Happy birthday Alexander ! How is your day so far ?

from: Alexander the Great  
to: Mags  
Im doing great, thanks. Still annoyed that you're not coming today

 

from: Mags

to: Alexander the Great

I'm deeply sorry. I have a ton of work for Uni, but we'll see each other soon.

 

Lies. Those were lies but Magnus didn't care, he preferred giving his best friend a white lie. He was actually going to show up at the park in the afternoon to see Alec. He wanted to lie because he could surprise him with his presence. There was as mall detail that wasn't going good with the rest : he had no gift to give. The last month, he spent a numerous number of hours in shops, trying to find the perfect gift, but in the end everything was too dull for someone as special as Alexander Lightwood. He asked the boy what he wanted but the other never really answered and Isabelle never told him completely what could make him happy.

 

He arrived in the good side of the city in the end of the afternoon, just before Alec was supposed to go and play on the swing. He had arranged his plan with Isabelle, who is supposed to push him to go to the park on his special day so they could meet, but without giving out why he should be there. Quite a hard task, but he knew Isabelle would work it out very nicely. She had power in her words and moves.

 

Magnus decided to seat on Alec's swing, just because for once he wanted to do that, because he never did it ,and today seemed like a great time to change. He waited for long until Alec showed up, and when the boy saw the other, Alexander couldn't help but run. He took his friend in a hug, almost making him fall from his swing. "No way. You told me not and now..? Oh. You're a filthy liar and I thought your were saying the truth. I'm broken, Magnus, broken." His best friend laughed. "Sure, and since I left the neighborhood you decided to be the new drama queen?" Alec made a head sign.

 

"It's nice to have you here." He said, now standing in front of Magnus. He seemed way taller –maybe because he was, or maybe because Magnus was seating of the swing and thus closer to the ground. "Well, I had to. It's my best friend's birthday, you don't turn eighteen everyday, you know." Alec looked down to stare at Magnus. "Yeah, right." Magnus played with one of the metal strings of the swing as he asked : "So what have you done today ?" Alec moved his head, quietly. "I went to the Uni to make sure I was in the DATA and registered, then I met friends for a walk, then ate with my whole family, yada-yada. Nothing really interesting." He said calmly, enjoying Magnus' presence. "Oh, so you're going to study law ? When do you start ?" Alec seemed to think for a second. "I don't really have a choice. You know that I would have preferred to do Letters, but well, my mother is kinda against me being a writer so... Yep. And in one week."

 

"You can still write outside of uni, you know. You don't need to study for that. You're smart enough to make your own experience around letters and words. Plus, with your future work, I'm pretty sure you'll make a good thriller author." Laughed Magnus. Alec laughed too, before starting another subject. "You're on my swing." Magnus looked around in a theatrical way. "Well, it seems like it. Believe it or not, I'm not moving. I'm a lazy ass today." Then he added : "Today that is actually your birthday. Eighteen. How does it feels to be legal with alcohol ?"

 

"Magnus, I'm eighteen, not twenty one. I'm not legal." Magnus shrugged with a smirk on his lips. "You're legal in Belgium!" Alec face palmed himself. "I thought it was sixteen in Belgium?" Magnus thought for a minute. "Oh it is. Sixteen for beers and wine and alcohol less than ten pourcent. For more, like the real alcohol, you have to be eighteen." Alec furrowed his brows. "You know so much about Belgium, why." He said as a statement but Magnus answered anyway. "I have a lot of time to loose and a good Internet connection. Also one of my friends live there." Magnus said, then Alec asked another question, "So you've never been there?" Magnus answered, moving his head, saying no. A small silence took place between them and it has been years that silence felt like hot wind and not large bricks walls.

 

"Eighteen. I can't believe that I've known you when you were only twelve and now you're eighteen. You grew up too fast." Alec was still in front of him, standing up while Magnus was graciously seating on the swing. A surprise came into Alec's face. "We met when I was fourteen, Magnus." The asiatic man bit his lip, quietly. "I think I have a confession to make. You know, I used to live in that house, over there," he showed his old home, "and well, I had a wonderful view on the park and," he continued, a bit awkward, "imayormaynothavestalkedyoufortwoyears."

 

Alec laughed for a while. "Noway, really ? Like for two years, you looked at me playing on a swing. Oh my god." Magnus smiled widely. "For my defense, it wasn't only you. I wasn't creeping on a boy alone. I was just watching the park and well, you were there a lot." Alec stared at Magnus, thinking. "It took you two years to come and talk to me." Magnus approved. "Yeah. I think you needed time alone." The silence started again but they found other things to talk about. That's what they usually did, their conversation changing every now and then.

 

"I dont have a gift." Magnus said, and suddenly it seemed like they were two years ago,when himself was eighteen, and that Alec told him the exact same thing. Except this time, the situation was the other way round. "It's not like you told me what you wanted." he added,and Alec seemed somewhere else, thinking about important things. Then he turned to Magnus and his mind was already home from his quick escapade. "Yeah. I know. I've been thinking the yes' and no's for what I wanted and never told you, in the end." Magnus continued to play with the swing's string. "What do you want ?" Alec blinked once, twice, then three times before opening his mouth slowly.

 

"The same thing you asked two years ago." Magnus thought. He never asked Alec anything,maybe except the sweater. It couldn't be it, because why would Alec take his sweater back ? "I asked Izzy for gold nail polish, but I'm sure that's not what you're thinking about, Alexander." His best friend laughed, looking a him with his Klein eyes. "No.You asked me something else." Magnus had no idea. "Tell me." Alec left a pause between them. "You asked for a kiss." He said brutally and Magnus looked at him directly and was suddenly proud of his best friend for saying what he wants out loud and not running around the idea like he does himself. He closed his eyes and remembered what almost happened two years ago, how he really wanted to kiss Alec but how he also really wanted him to live his own things.

 

When he opened his eyes again,Alexander was closer to him and his eyes were asking if he could and Magnus was so shocked he couldn't answer with proper words so since he did nothing, Alec just placed his hands on Magnus' jaw which made him laughed. "That's my thing, the hands around your jaw,that's- that's me who usually does this." Alec answered with a smile. "Well, it's me who usually seats on that swing, you know." Magnus put an hand on Alec's hand and it just felt right. Maybe them being boyfriends was just the extension of them being best friends. It was like walking on another step of the stairs. "Okay." He breathed loud and Alec's eyes lit up like a Matisse painting. He could see the painting of La Joie de Vivre in his iris and couldn't help but smile at that before his lips touched Alec's.

 

Their story wasn't a fairy tale –there weren't any sparks when they kissed, none of them saw fireworks or turned into a prince and in any ways Alec didn't need to be a prince since he was already an emperor. When they kissed it felt like they were close, as close as they should be always, like when they're hugging tight. Alec's lips were soft, very soft, and Magnus wanted to loose himself in his flagrance for more than just the few seconds the kiss lasted. He closed his eyes when he felt Alec's thumb slowly doing circles around his cheek, reminding him that he was with him in this, that he was safe. Magnus felt his heart fall from envy, from the years he had wait for this to happen, how many times he dreamed of those lips who were so comfortable against his. He wanted to say thanks to Alec but also never wanted the kiss to end. Magnus knew that Alec was his special place – the one his mom told him about,the one that was the swing for Alexander, the kitchen for his mother. He felt right with the other boy around, he knew he could tell every single one of his problems and try to fix Alec's mood when he wasn't as happy as he deserved to be with his kind heart.

 

He wanted to tell Alexander that his own special place was a boy who stole his name from one of the biggest emperors that ever existed but he was scared that he would go too fast. For the moment, they just kissed.

***

Few days later, they started dating. Alec had to ask because Magnus was still scared of going too fast for the younger boy, but after months of dating he realized that them being together was wanted by both sides. They saw each other once every three weeks and they were just like before. They were best friends before being boyfriends and it stayed that way. It's not because they started dating that everything changed. It was practically the same as it used to be, plus the kissing and holding hands part. Magnus was very afraid of pushing Alec into things he didn't really want so he never initiated anything and Alec at some point told him that he should stop being such a kitten and just start what he wanted. Still, he waited for Alec to make the first move.

 

After their first time, Magnus took way more liberty to his own rule of « not pushing Alec »because it felt like the right time to do that. He started taking his hand in public, kissing his neck when they were both seating on the herb in a park, complementing his eyes whenever they were in front ofa blue painting, asking him if he could read out loud his texts and sit on his lap to bother him when they were supposed to study.

 

Magnus met Mama-Lightwood. She was scary, that was for sure, but she wasn't the cold rock he thought she would be. They were in the middle of the« first-meeting-boyfriend-parents » meal when he remembered meeting her for the first time, sixteen years ago, in the park next to his house. He remember how taller she was, how taller than him. He remembered everything- he was seven at the time, still his memory fixed everything. He remembered Isabelle's toy, how he took it to gave it to her, and mostly, he remembered Alec.

 

He felt the other boy's hand over his,below the table, and it was too much for the moment. He pushed Alexander for one of the first times of his life. Alec asked what happened later when they were hanging out in Alec's old room. It has been at least one year since he moved out to live with Magnus. The meeting with the parents was late because Alec wanted to properly come out before they saw each other. "So, what's wrong, Mags ?" Magnus laid his head over his boyfriend's lap,calmly closing his eyes. "It's nothing. A memory kicked in and your hand over mine was too tight, I couldn't bear it anymore. But really, it's nothing." Alec took his palm and started brushing his thumb with slow circle moves like he does when he wants to ease Magnus.

 

"Care to explain?" He said with a gentle tone, trying to say that it was okay if he didn't want to. "It's just- ugh. Remember that story I told you with that kid who told me I was wrong ?"Alec moved his head quickly. "Well, it came back when I was eating in front of your parents because your mother was in that memory." Alec took Magnus in a hug and let his head fall behind, touching the wall. Magnus could feel how he wanted to be reassuring to him, and it was working. He melt into the touch. "Your mom was in the memory because his son, a tiny boy with blue eyes, told me that I was wrong." Magnus heard Alec's heart skip a beat. His touch became cold and Magnus could almost hear Alec's thoughts since he seemed like he was screaming inside of his mind. "You know, I don't care about that anymore. I told you. It made me stronger." He moved to face Alec and their legs were tangling in so many ways.The Lightwood had his eyes down and his jaw was so firmly pressed that his teeth must have hurt. "Alexander." Said Magnus calmly, taking his boyfriend's head between his hands as he loved to do, knowing that Alec felt home whenever he touched him like that.

 

"I'm so sorry. I was the one who was wrong. I just followed what mother told me, which is, gay is wrong." He told him. Magnus knew that there was no real end of this discussion and wanted to forget about it, he wanted Alec to stop being so mean against himself when he was the best person the existed least to his eyes, so he kissed him deeply. When Magnus touched that special spot on his neck, Alec laughed from the tingly feeling and flashed a smile at his boyfriend that Magnus would never want to wash off from his memory.

***

Magnus proposed was the one who gave the ring. It was after their young years finished, Alec was a judge who worked too much, overwhelmed by work, while Magnus painted everything that his eye liked. Some of his paintings were Alec. Soft details from his hair, his smile or laugh, his eyes drowned into an aura of darkness. He was painting a new piece when Alec woke up late for his work. He made coffee in his boxer and a large green shirt that he borrowed from Magnus' stuff. He came to see what he was painting and kissed him to say hello and his breath was awful but Magnus couldn't help but smile because he loved how his boyfriend of seven years was still making him feel like a teenager.

 

"What is it, this time ?" Said Alec as he eyed Magnus' piece. It was only few lines drew at some places. "It's a person. Mostly a hand. Maybe I'll finish the lines before you come home tonight." Alec bit dangerously his lip. "You keep forgetting. I'm leaving in six hours, Mags.I have that urgent thing to do in Switzerland next week." Magnus sighed. "Yeah I keep forgetting and the worst is that I still feel down every time you remind me. Ugh. I ordered Indian food for tonight. I wanted to make a little thing for us. I'll call your sister, maybe she has the same tastes in food than you."

 

Alec brushed Magnus' hair and whispered as he gently hugged him, kissing his temples with soft pressures. "I love you. I'll be back in two weeks. Finish your painting, I'd be happy to see it. Maybe I would buy it, who knows." Magnus laughed. "Like you need to pay for one of my pieces. You're ridiculous."

 

Alec left the house and Magnus painted for the whole week, met Isabelle and called Catarina to come over his house and play with his cats, Church and Chairman Meow, who were asking someone else than Magnus. He knew that they missed Alec as much as he did, missed being taken care of when they were together watching an episode of Glee on the couch. Catarina stopped in front of the painting who was now pretty much done. "It's Alec, isn't it ?" Magnus opened his mouth slightly. "Yeah.It's that obvious ?" Catarina shrugged. "Well, I know how you paint him with that tint of pink, you know. And you've been working on this for ages. I don't know, it's just him, I can feel it even if we don't see completely his face."

 

They were both looking at the painting,scrutinizing it with objective eyes. It was a boy, or more the chest of a boy, and you could see the bottom of his face but nothing above his pink-purple mouth. The painting stopped at the belt of the boy,who was wearing a white tuxedo without any tie around his neck, but a black bow tie. That wasn't the purpose of the painting, or at least not the main. In the middle of the painting, you could see his hands.One was completely empty while the other was wearing a ring. His right hand was playing with the ring like the boy was taking it off or putting it on, or if you looked closer, touching it nervously.

 

After a week and a half, Alec came back from his trip. It was late night when he opened the door and that Magnus practically jumped on his to hug him tight. He looked very tired probably from too much work and the jet lag. He observed Magnus with his semi closed eyes as he yawned heavily. "Hi honey. I'm really tired and I'm going to pass diner with you I'm sorry, I know I told you I'd eat with you but I can't I'm going to die if I don't sleep." He brushed Magnus' hair with his hand, smiling lazily. "I just want to see your painting then I'll sleep. Can I?"

 

Magnus felt his heart skip a beat because even if he was tired he wanted to see his painting. He hushed him to the tv room where the painting was now, and his boyfriend stayed in front for few minutes. He was sitting on a chair and still had this smile on his face, the one that made him look like he was love sick, but it was probably from the tiredness. "It's me.Isn't ?" Magnus moved his head. "How do you know ?" Alec moved his finger close to the painting,not touching it. "Here, there's that vein. I know that's mine because you always paint it when you do me. I never saw it on me before but you apparently do and since I can't stop thinking that that vein is probably your favorite part of my body." He looked around. "I don't have that ring."

 

"I know. The ring is actually a gift I wanted to give you while we eat." Alec looked down. "Sorry. Can I still have it ?" he asked like a kid. Magnus smiled quietly. "Yeah. Here." He offered him a small black box. Alec laughed. "You're doing it like a proper gentleman. Next thing you ask me to marry you ?" Magnus froze and Alec realized.

 

"You're proposing to me, like,right now." He said as a statement, not a question. Magnus shared with him a gentle look. Alec laughed. "Months ago, I took an appointment with in a jewelry for tomorrow, because I wanted to buy some very expensive ring for you. And you, you little prick,decided to ask me in mariage before I pop up the question." He said with a smirk, then he put the ring on his finger and kissed Magnus.

***

Their wedding was very pretty. They balanced blue and gold, mixing their colors before they mix their names. After a long talk, they decided that Magnus would take Alec's name, becoming now Magnus Lightwood. He wanted to get rid off of the name Bane, which meant destruction. He was half sad and half happy to know that he was the last generation of the Banes. The wedding was simple with family, friends and nothing much. Alec was way too anxious to take in more than hundred people watching him as he kissed his husband for the first time.

 

After that, they left for their honeymoon. Izzy proposed that they should go to some asiatic country or somewhere with a lot of sun, but Alec and Magnus watched each other with a knowing smile as they both wanted to go to Belgium together.It was their own thing. Of course the disenchantment happened when they met the rain as soon as their plane landed, but they enjoyed the large variety of beers and how green Brussels was. They even went to parks, playing on swings whenever there were no kids on it. When they were sharing a bath in the biggest bathtub they ever seen, they talking about things and other – until Alec proposed to have a kid. "I feel like I'd like to have a little Lightwood that's ours,you know."

Magnus asked directly, not even bothering to answer yes because he wanted it so much himself. "Do you want to use your sperms or mine or like, adopt ?" Alec laughed. "You're really into this idea of having kids,don't you ?" Magnus played with the bubbles in the bath. "If you're asking me if I like the idea of seing you re-painting our guest room in shade of yellow with me, or if I like the idea of you holding our child, or the one where we all watch movies with Church and Chairman Meow, then yes, I guess I want to do that. With you."

 

Alec moved to kiss Magnus. "So.Do you want a kid with blue eyes or an asian one ? Or adopt ?It's like you want." Asked Magnus. His husband was still close to him, so close that Magnus could feel claustrophobic. Alec was watching him with eyes that held so many things in it when he kissed him again, holding his neck. Magnus could feel how horny Alec was and wondered if the idea of being a dad made him that way. "Honey,just to remind you, we're both male and as much as you can jump me, I can't be pregnant." He added, laughing. Alec's eyes opened,looking at him and he dared. His eyes were daring. "We'll see that."

***

They worked a lot to find a girl who was okay to hold a baby for them. They spoke long before they decided who was the biological dad, and the conversation ended on Magnus. Alec wanted to look at his kid and see his husband again. They searched for a girl that looked like Alec, because as cheesy it may sound,they wanted the kid to be a mix of them both. It was hard to find the right girl, but they did, and she seemed to approuve the plan. They were on their way to sign the contract and Magnus took Alec's hand in his own.

 

Alexander was afraid, almost scared,and Magnus couldn't understand why his eyes were reflecting that.

 

Magnus understood why his eyes were that way when the girl came, thirty minutes late, saying that she had spoke with her parents who told her that holding a kid who isn't yours wasn't a good idea. Alec cried and Magnus wanted to cry too but he had to be strong for his husband and make him feel better so he took his head between hi hands, like he used to when they were younger. Their bond was so strong after those twelve years of dating and sixteen years of knowing each other.

 

 

"I feel like shit. I feel like someone just took that baby out of my hands. It's like being stabbed. I hate it. I hate that. You know, I wanted it to be a surprise but I was planning to built a swing on the tree in our backyard. You know, for our kid. Because it felt right for us to have a kid who played on a swing after our story." He said, his head in his hands trying to hide his red face. Magnus took him in a hug.

Alec was tired, after that. He stopped looking after girls who could help them for their baby. He seemed tired of everything, even if he assured Magnus that he still wanted a child. Magnus still looked around and also on the internet in a database of hospitals in America. He really wanted that kid, and he wanted his husband to find again that smile he had whenever they talked about having a small Lightwood. Magnus took extra attention to his boyfriend and kissed him more gently whenever he could, reminding him that even if they lost the girl - they never lost themselves. He caressed his hair and face with his hands, trying to make Alec feel something. Even if his husband was dull, he was still deeply in love with him and he couldn't stop wanting to share moments with Magnus, and they were even more tangled in each other's strings than before.

He almost screamed when he saw her. She was on the database of an hospital in New York city, and she looked so much like Alec. She could have some Lightwood blood in her, after all, she seemed more Alec's sister than Izzy. He quickly called the hospital, begging to have her number, and after using his charms the nurse took pity and gave it to him. He called the girl, named Nour, who was really sweet. He explained the whole situation, how they lost their chance the first time, how they wanted that child that much. She said she was okay with holding their child if they paid the right amount that was promised in this situation and he cried from joy as he said that money wasn't a problem for them. She still asked to see them, just to be sure they were fine even if the hospital would send a nurse to examine their file to be sure. He assured her that the nurse had already done that and they were would be more than perfect parents.

He explained that he wanted it to be a surprise for his husband and asked if the meeting could be a fake one, where she would meet both of the boys but as a friend and not as the biological mother of their child. She accepted after knowing the whole story, and Magnus wanted to kiss her through the phone for being such a nice person. They went with the simple story of "we used to go to school together" and made up an appointment for this Saturday. Just before he hung up, she asked him to know how the two of them met and Magnus talked and talked, so did Nour, who explained pretty much her whole life to her new friend. She was working as a free lance, her mother taught history in uni, she had a sister who was about to start university and her brother was still in high school. Her voice was soft and her laugh kept him in the call for hours, seating on his bed comfortably. When his husband came home, he asked with who he was on the phone and he answered: "Nour, an old friend of mine."

They met and everything went well. They spent the day the three of them, together, and Nour was absolutely charming. Alec invited her to eat at their place, to what she said yes with a big smile. Once at their home, she examined every inch she could see. They were eating when Alec told her: "You really look like me, if we take out the eyes. That's funny." Nour chocked on her food and laughed. "Yeah, we kinda look alike." Alec smiled. She was playing with her fork when she asked: "How long have you two..." Alec searching in his memory. "Well, we met nineteen years ago, became friends sixteen years ago, started dating twelve years ago, and we're married since two years." Nour's eyes were wide open. "You guys are really each other's love of the lifetime, aren't you?" Alex blushed as Magnus brushed his hand with his long fingers. "Yeah."

After dinner and too many memories shared, she took Magnus alone to speak. "It's completely okay. I took the papers with me, if you give me a pen I can sign them and you take your time to tell Alec of our decision, then call me again." He hugged her tightly then gave her what she asked. She signed papers and gave them to Magnus, kissing his cheek before she left.

***

It took few weeks to Magnus to find the right way to tell it to Alec. He finally found it after late nights thinking. As usual, Alec was tired after work when he came home. Magnus took him between his arms. Alec asked if Magnus did something wrong like forgetting to feed their cats but he said no. He was just naturally happy. He took his hand and guided him through their home and when they were in the backyard, Alec looked around.

His eyes fell on a swing, built on the tree in the back of their house. His eyes started watering as he understood the plan - Nour wasn't an old friend but their new mom, and the swing meant that she was okay, they were going to have a baby.

He kissed Magnus slowly and couldn't help but think that even if the swing was his special place, he liked it better when his best friend, his boyfriend, his husband was around.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed!  
> Don't forget to comment it makes me hella happy!  
> I'm also taking prompts for one shots, so tell me! 
> 
> ~m


End file.
